FOR THE QUICK AND THE DEAD...

Have u ever wondered what really happens to us when we die? As a Christians, we believe that our spirits go to heaven, purgatory or hell depending on how we lived - and to some extent is on our last "state of mind" or faith before we die - absolutions clears out all our bad deeds and we automatically go to purgatory or to heaven.

And so we are told that we better be good or else we go to eternal damnation - which I could not really fathom, just imagine a life of suffering forever, you will get used to it later on and it would not be suffering anymore? Isn't it? And really, no one has came back after death and tell for sure what really happens. So many religions, so many interpretations of life and death. Anyway, this I believe is true - this is my life here and now, I could not care less for what happens afterwards - - - heaven today is when I do good for myself and for others and hell is when I do terrible things.

Anyway, whatever it is - HAPPY HALLOWEEN to everyone.

SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW

When I have a gloomy mind, I see all the misery and suffering in life and the ugliness of it all, but when I see the world with a happy heart, everything seems to be beautiful and sunny and bright. Today, I see the world in the eyes of a child, especially from the point of view of my niece Natasha. “Days are filled with opportunities to play with friends – just running around, touching everything, from one toy to another, beautiful things in the house and in the garden and in school. Running, jumping, walking, sitting, smiling, laughing, giggling, asking different questions, running again. Drawing and using different colored pencils are a favourite. And so with the tele, picture books, the ponies, Bratz dolls, and the goldfish in the aquarium. Not very much with food – but sweet things like lollies and chocolates make the day somewhat special. And mum being always there is the best in the world! What more can I ask but to sleep with my favourite Rainbow (pony) at night!”

AN ODE TO A SECRET GARDEN

When I was around eight or nine, I usually just played alone. I liked being by myself just walking around our village ( I come from the province of Davao) which was still full of different kinds of trees and shrubs (coconuts, bananas, mangoes, papaya, lanzones, etc), a little bit of rainforest nearby and we even have a natural spring just walking distance from home. I remember enjoying the solitary walks in the afternoon (feeling like Pocahontas) when it rained the night before – small nooks and crannies are filled with water – sparkling clear and undiluted, I thought you can even play and bath in it, as do these nymphs of dragonflies. I walk barefooted or with my thongs – I love the coolness of the water, pebbles, stones and grass under my feet. With these cool clear water flowing and finding its way to the river, the stones and rocks shone with their natural colors of blue, gray and brown and sometimes red - really amazing colors. I love them. And with these clear waters, I could see small fishes (gurami and catfishes) and tadpoles swimming with the flow. They usually took my attention - catching them with my hands to be kept in my own aquarium. I could get easily lost in this wonderful place where my childhood adventures were born and real. I think it was during these jubilant walks when I developed my strong love for nature – and that feeling of belonging to this beautiful place where beauty, peace, tranquillity and joy abounds. Ahh, my authentic self. Nothing compares to my secret garden - - - where magic is real and I am totally free. Where art thou?

BEAUTY AND THE BITCH

I say a little prayer for you Hoping that one day you wake up And put on just a little bit of make up And not a tad more, please. We all have our own self perceptions (body and face image) which we keep and maintain for dear life as we appear and continue our affairs with the world. These self image could be close to what is real or could be very very warped. Like for instance, I thought that I am of a bit of that skinnier type, but when I looked again I am actually a pudgy fat version of my skinny image and could take on the role of Ms Little Piggy quite easily. I also thought that I could still pass very convincingly as a twenty-something but then when I checked myself again at the mirror last night while doing my beauty routine, my tired old eyes betray it all. Well, my skin still have their youthful appearance but then I could not hide the decades of decadence and experience being revealed in my eyes. I don’t have THAT look of youthful innocence and pure joyful expectations ever present in youth. And I think I've lost that years and years ago. Somehow, we could hold on to our chosen image and maybe live up to it, renovate our faces and bodies, and fake it to death. But then could we really defy the laws of nature?

TO A LONG LOST FRIEND …

Wherever you are – hope you’re happy and miserable and fat As I am happy and miserable and fat. We decided to close our doors And windows And chatrooms And emails And create more spaces, oceans and seas As if the endless continents and mountains Are not enough… We made our own maps Of the world To move us further apart from Each other. You with your rent boys hanging like Christmas balls Around your bulging belly Me on my chosen path. Of eternal damnation. Praying the other would say One day that He is condemned or That we are both condemned By our own very nature and weaknesses. And slap each other’s faces Till our heads come off our necks. And laugh at each other. Like crazy bitches. Haven’t you realize it’s two years now And we still hang on to our own silliness As if there is no end to the way Anyway…. Here’s hoping you drown in your own bliss And suffocate in your lovers’ saliva. Whenever you think of me. Farewell, My long lost best friend!

SWEET DREAMS

I'm a constant dreamer.

Seldom do i wake up in the morning without feeling languid or tired after these very complicated dream scenarious in which I had been actively and emotionally involved while i sleep. Why do I dream like this? Some of my friends said that they do not dream at all or cannot really recall their dreams. I do however recall most of my dreams - and the emotions that are triggered by these nightly occurences. I do not mind the happy ones - since they give me a happy frame of mind that I carry during the day. But the traumatic or shall i say nightmares really determine my moods during the day. Manifestations of my worries, my fears and my subconcious ... I dream of these nightmares because during the day i worry a lot, or i stress myself with things both imaginary or real ? Yes, sometimes, i look at the world with my blue sunglasses, and this outlook is being magnified in my dreams... Or maybe I need a long vacation, or I miss my friends and family. Yes, I am in my depressive mood these days... the good thing is that I know that I am not well, and I can improve my self by focusing on the bright and sunny things.... and this also stops my nightly visitors, well hopefully. Sweeter dreams to my tonight !!!

(By the way, how do you like my artwork?)

ENNUI

I just feel like going away somewhere on my own ... Running along the desert and shouting to the top of my voice, Or half awake dancing naked with the loudest disco music with wolves, Talking to strangers ... I am too tired of the same routine, the same things over and over again... like echoes in my dreams ... humming forever. I want to wake up with another skin, another face, another mind... I am tired.... of myself, of this world... Today.... hopefully tomorrow, i will be fine again....

ADOBO GALORE

Tanda ko pa ng manalo ng Miss International si Mimi - 26 years ago !!! (juiceko, ang tanda tanda ko na)... anyway, ang tangkad tangkad ni Mimilanie at pinay na pinay ang dating... Ang mga bading talagang lokang loka sa drama ni Mimi - lalo na ng bubuka ka ang bibig nito pag nag-English...nakakatuwa siya... comedy tuloy ang dating....

Katulad ng "Don't judge my brother - he's not a book!" referring to Joey Marquez.

Ang dami daming mga write ups about Mimi - na hindi mo na malaman kung ito nga totoo na galing sa kanya, katulad ng nakakatuwang cooking instruction below:

THE" MIMILANIE'S ADOBO DE LA MISS INTERNATIONAL" O hayan mga friends, Rogays and countrygays.... may tip ako sa inyo kung paano magluto ang isang BEAUTY QUEEN. Ang unang dish natin ay ang palasak na Adobo pero iba sa palasak na Adobo. Iba kasi, Ala "THE" Mimilanie nga, ang kulit! Wala na yung table spoon-table spoon na yan o yung mga sukat-sukat tienes. Basta ganito ang gawin para talagang maging matagumfay kayo sa pagluluto ng "THE" Mimilanie's "ADOBO DE LA MISS UNIVERSE" Magpitpit ng bawang nang todo-todo na para kang galit na galit. Hugasan nang maigi ang mga sangkap (wag sasabunin, gagah!).... Kahit na anong gusto ninyong isangkap; VAVOY, VAKA o MANOK (wag lang paniki). Una, IGISA (sauté), inuulit ko, IGISA ang bawang (sa mantika syemfre!). Then pag dark na siya, ihalo ang mga sangkap (vavoy, vaka, o chicken). Gandahan ang paggisa na para bang ikaw ay isang tunay na Miss Universe. Kung gusto mo, maglagay ng corona habang naghahalo. Wag ka nang mag make-up, over na yan. Then pag medyo hindi na mafutla ang iyong ginigisa, lagyan ng famintang buo na dinurog, haluin ulit, then lagyan ng H2O (sasampalin na kita dyan, tubig yan, che!). Lagayn ng asin na salt. WAG lalagyan ng toyo (dahil may toyo na kayo sa inyong brains, ching).. Takpan. Then kumanta ka ng "I Honestly Love You" habang hinihinstay kumulo.Pag kumulo na at malamvot na ang sangkaf, lagyan ng suka (mas maganda ang sukang stateside kasi yung mga sukang Pinoy, hindi matapang). Wag takpan.Pag medyo natutuyo na, lagyan ng GATA (coconut milk, please wag kayong magkakamali na kung anong "milk" ang ilagay ninyo, susmaryosep!). Mas maigi kung ang ilalagay ninyo ay ang kakang-gata (ito yung lumabas sa unang piga). Kung gagamit naman ng gata na nasa lata, try not to include the liquid, yung gata lang ang ilagay kasi hindi ninyo alam kung saan nanggaling ang liquid na iyon.Lutuin hanggang mawala ang sabaw at magmantika. This is the BEST ADOBO in the world. Try mo dali..!

Sweet as Rain

TRUE COLORS