THE GREATEST GIFT FROM A FRIEND

I believe that people come into your life for a purpose.

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During my first year in college, I met a new professor (E) who was teaching Philosophy. We shared a flat with his nephew (R) who was also taking a pre-med course in the same university. It was a brilliant meeting of minds - and cultivating our interests in life's philosophy, amidst the struggle of studies and cooking, cleaning and paying our bills. (Ang saya-saya, and feeling ko ang tali-talino ko talaga like Leah Salonga, being with these guys. Para kaming Bronte Sisters na puro books ang dala at kinakain! ).

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Ultimately E became a very good friend - a tutor, a challenger that opened my mind to a lot of things. And most of all to the greatest books ever written. He actually looked like Albert (Einstein), very soft spoken and has a very feminine and caring soul. Though he has not really came out - we felt that sense of belonging. Mutual understanding. An affinity with the muses! (Once while reading Dune, I imagined him as the mother reverend Mohiam of the Benne Gesirit and I am her student princess Irulan).

Books and reading and discussing them afterwards were our virtue - and became our greatest bond since. He gave me a list of books to read which I borrowed from his collections or from the library. This is when I discovered and loved the following authors and their works (to name a few that I could recall):

• Fyodor Dostoevsky (Notes from the Underground, Crime and Punishment, The Brothers Karamazov),
• Ayn Rand (The Fountainhead, Anthem, Atlas Shrugged, We The Living),
• Walt Whitman (Leaves of Grass)
• Thomas A Kempis (The Imitation of Christ)
• Jane Austen (Pride & Prejudice, Emma, Sense & Sensibility ... etc)
• Arthur Schopenhauer (The world as will and Idea ... etc)
• Victor Hugo (Les Miserables, The Hunchback of Notre Dame ..)
• Frank Herbert (Dune, Dune Messiah, Children of Dune ... etc)
• JRR Tolkein (The Hobbit, The Lord of the Rings, Fellowship of the Ring, The Two Towers...)

And so with Emerson, Charles Dickens, Soren Kierkegaard, Emmanuel Kant - that I also encountered in humanities and philo studies- which were given higher emphasis in Ateneo over the commercial courses.

Thus, I became a voracious reader, a thirsty soul - and I chose reading as a past time over any other else like watching movies or television. The library was my chosen playground - and I could read, sleep and even eat there from dusk till dawn ...

I have not been in touched with E for more than a decade since then, but my affair with the books lingered on. But, thanks to facebook, I found him again last week and we made a reconnection. He is still with the university - has been Dean for awhile and now working in the administration.

I asked him for a new list to read and he gave me the following: Apparently they are all soul related, spiritual and maybe he sensed what I need at this point in time ...

Mitch Albom - Tuesday with Morrie

Thomas Moore - Soulmates, Care of Soul, Soul of Sex

M Scott Peck - Road less Travelled

Randy Pausch - The Last Lecture

Harold Kushner - When Bad Things Happen to Good People

James Redfield - Celestine Prophecy

Ken Gire - Windows of the Soul, Moments with the Savior

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I believe that people come into (and go out) of our lives for a purpose. Maybe it is to guide us. To give us some lessons. To challenge us. To make us think. To be our silent companion. To make us happy. To lead us to redemption.

I think I am into my reflective/meditative mood - very !!!

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

i think, i finally found it - in these beautiful creatures!

they don't pass on judgement

they don't care if you're ugly or beautiful

rich or poor

young or old

brown or blue eyed

gay or straight

they are not ashamed to be with you

they totally trust you

and adore you

even if you stink

they still love you even if you failed to feed them

they wait loyally upon your return

their love is unceasing

unconditional

i'm blessed to find them in my life !!!

SISTERS & BROTHERS

To the outside world we all grow old. But not to brothers and sisters. We know each other as we always were.

We know each other's hearts. We share private family jokes. We remember family feuds and secrets, family griefs and joys. We live outside the touch of time.

~Clara Ortega

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I have outgrown all the TV shows that I loved before. Now I only watch Desperate Housewife because there's nothing on TV. Ugly Betty is long goooone! And so were all the others ... The only thing left meaningful to me now are the bunch of Walkers.

Still, I am fascinated by the on going drama, the characters, scripts and new twist of events ... plus of course, the amazing number of GAY GUYS on it. There is Kevin, Scotty, Saul, and that gay brother of Robert Macllister. I was hoping at first that the new brother Ryan is also gay and that he would cause a lot more trouble - but apparently not!

In my life, there are mini dramas that continously unfold over the years - between us brothers and sisters and the in laws and partners ... emotional roller coasters that involve blaming, deep rooted phobias, church related beliefs and traditions, betrayal of trusts and secrets, resentments, guilt and pent up anger, growing indifference and all that jazz! Enough to tear apart the great walls of china, and sign divorce papers as a family!

Maybe it is for this reason that we now all live relatively far from each other - and for those that still live a little bit closely - are distanced apart by silence.

Just like this weekend ... my youngest sister bought her first brand new car. Being happy and excited for her, I asked her to test drive it ... not realizing she was not feeling 100% after failing an exam that morning, and some other important reasons for her which I thought were just okay.

While maneuvering herself to park in a difficult space, she accidentally bumped her 3 day old car into a wall. It was so quickly done - and when I shrieked it was already late. I honestly could not have done anything at that moment to save her from hitting the wall. No one's hurt though except the brand new car and my wailing, crying hysterical sister, who could not be appeased no matter what!

And so there were more stories behind. The bumped car was just the key that opened up deep seated emotions and resentments. The following day was a roller coaster of judgement ... "blame me - blame you", digging into deeper and hurtful issues including personality disorder attacks, righteousness, who did what, sacrifice and suffering, spiritual salvation and damnation, past decisions, history, present ... opening old wounds and some family pandora boxes and retrieving issues and events that we can hurl at each other. Safe thing - we chose to send messages and not talk on the phone. The most hurtful thing was said about my being a useless brother - and so I have to defend myself then.

All because of the minor damage to the car's bumper. After thirty exchanges of text messages, we were emotionally wound up and so decided to stop it and sort of made up. But someone's BPs were up to the ceiling. And someone could not stop thinking.

And the other brother and sisters, got involved and took sides .... Then more guilts ... and sorrys to end it .... just like some other past episodes that turned us bitter, this one tore us apart further ... the car could definitely be fixed ... but we ended up more damaged, and maybe unfixed for longer while, once more!

One thing though, being the eldest of five, I always try to be the big brother or sister - and try to glue our relationship as a family, appease and please and help them, the best that I could.

Deepest in my heart is to see and know them happy and successful wherever they are in their own families or by themselves if they live as such. This makes me happy as I found this one of my meanings in life. But it seems that time has changed and there are more important things to them and so I began to also live my life for myself... But they should know that I always care and here for them no matter what.

I may have some misgivings and mistakes, and things that could not be altered and recaptured are now part and remain in the picture, like it or not ... We might end up loathing and ignoring each other to death ... but in this ONE life that we have - I guess it is still a fact and we remain to be

BROTHERS AND SISTERS ... born of the same blood

no matter what we do. We might just have to learn to truly forgive and forget and see if not understand each other's side better, for our soul's redemptions.

CHAR NA CHAR SI CHARO RONQUILLO

Spotted these photos of Charo Ronquillo.

She's on Seventeen - March edition!

Ang ganda ng gagah!

DEATH ... AND SOME IMAGES THAT DEFINED ME ...

They say, just moments before you DIE .... there are some random IMAGES

that FLASH before your very eyes, just like in the movies.

If I were to choose I guess these are just some of the images of people (both living and dead)

that I will choose to be

randomly played (aside from my love and lovers, family, pets and friends

and unforgettable events in my life of course!) ...

Celine Dion

To set the mood and the background - I want her to sing Immortality, ha,ha,ha! (at the height of self importance and meandering ...char!)

So this is who I am, And this is all I know, And I must choose to live,

For all that I can give, The spark that makes the power grow And I will stand for my dream if I can, Symbol of my faith in who I am, But you are my only, And I must follow on the road that lies ahead, And I won't let my heart control my head, But you are my only

We don't say goodbye,We don't say goodbye, And I know what I've got to be Immor-tality I make my journey through eternity I keep the memory of you and me inside Fulfill your destiny, Is there within the child, My storm will never end, My fate is on the wind, The king of hearts, the joker's wild, We don't say goodbye, We don't say goodbye, I'll make them all remember me Cos I have found a dream that must come true, Every ounce of me must see it through, But you are my only I'm sorry I don't have a role for love to play, Hand over my heart I'll find my way, I will make them give to me Immor-tality (oh baby) There is a vision and a fire in me (ohh) I keep the memory of you and me, inside We don't say goodbye We don't say goodbye With all my love for you And what else we may do ... We don't say, goodbye

Michael Jackson, when young and before all the

beautiful changes!

May he rest in peace ... now!

Farrah Fawcett - the famous hair and the smile

the image that inspired a lot of drag queens

May she rest in peace as well ...

Unknown model ... Fabulous, fabulous make up! Vivienne St James, Drag Queen in Melbourne

Fake Photo of David Beckham, in full nude! Audrey Hepburn ... Queen Elizabeth David Beckham, again!

The original Charlies Angels in television!

I love all of them - but my favorite is Kate Jackson!

BB Gandang Hari

Angelina as Monaliza

Mimilanie Marquez winning Ms Internationale

and her english antiques

Madonna in her signature bra (paving all the way!)

Madonna, again!

Girls just wanna have Fun - Cyndi Lauper

Grace Jones, that look

Kate Moss, the style!

Marilyn Monroe, the sex symbol

and

Karen Carpenters

(i simply love her songs and her unique voice!)

and that she died of bulimia!

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(MORE ... )

WHERE'S THE PACKAGE ...?

LAST YEAR

Armani's ad campaign of David Beckham made

Our eyes bulged with the huge bulge!

THIS YEAR

We could NOT see anything ... BIG!

"black underwear, somehow diminishes the bulges!

As you know WHITE highlights where BLACK diminishes or hides it all! "

One solution is just to brighten up the subject

like what I did below

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V

Hmmm... that's better, I can now glimmer little David, can you ?

(I know everything's photoshopped, but hey, something has to be photoshopped or enhanced in the first place :))

HOW NOT TO IRON CLOTHES ... AND KEEP ON SMILING!

One thing that I hate doing is ironing clothes. And if I ever do it, I have to be in my best mood and behavior, with my background music, and happy thoughts! Or else, I end up throwing them all up! Really, it is so easy and cheaper buying new clothes again! I used to pay someone to do the ironing for me (I mean for us as there are two humans plus one drag queen) who unscrupulously fill up huge two laundry baskets every week. Now that she is gone - I could not find a replacement. Sending these off to the dry cleaners would cost heaps of money - so I have to do this domestic bliss, at least once every week for five hours! But I have been soooo lazy for the past months, that things have gone awry and a big huge pile of unpressed clothes kept on mounting like the smokey mountain. I finally saddled up the horse! So for the past few nights, I have been ironing clothes that we have used last summer! Can you imagine? I wish I could just put them in a garbage bag and drop it in the nearest salvation army! One thing that I miss about the Philippines. You always have some house help, yaya, lavandera, or neighbor who would be happy to do all these chores for you. That is why I intend to live my retirement days out there, and never do ironing in my life ever again!

IS HE OR ISN'T HE?

Is Sasha Baron Cohen -

making FUN or throwing mockery at gay guys - in his new film Bruno?

(Red alert ngayon ang mga bayot!)

I know that gay guys generally love satire ...

that's why we have drag queens!

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And we are not new to this concept ... the Filipinos for example

have had straight men (although I really thut they were gays)

acting as gay guys in films long ago

and portraying gays as really hysterical

bordering towards tragic characters

remember Dolphy and Roderick Paulate ??

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Am sure a lot of homophobic attitude developed

from being exposed to these tirades!

People learned to laugh at gay guys and dismissing

them as comedians or circus clowns.

Not to be reckoned with.

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Only few have seen the humanity in them or in us.

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And now we have a girl trying to become bakla in

the person of Pokwang dragging herself with

unique costumes everyday on TV. I found her purely

funny though - no pun intended!

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So what is the intention of Bruno?

Dispelling and exposing the deepest

sense of homophobia, as they say?

or igniting or proliferating it

to the level of disgust ?

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We will know upon its release in July!

Am not sure whether to watch this film.

Sometimes, I could not get their sense of humour.

Wicked and Sour Poking!

SWIMMING WITH THE PIGS

omg ... it is again miss universe time ... and what a beyutiful sight to see current ms universe Dayana Mendoza - swimming with the pigs - in the beautiful beaches of Bahamas - on location! Simply baboyulous :0 !

MI ULTIMA LASHES ...

Wondering what would be Jose Rizal if born in this era?

Am sure he would be an expat - OFW - as he was before in his life ...

I am sure he would be most open minded, tolerant and even a deviant drag queen ...

Would he have joined first some barangay gay beauty contests and

on to national and international levels ... with his

advocacy for the advancement of diversity and human rights?

And with his famous line ...

"Ang kabataan ang pag-asa ng bayan.

The youth is the hope of the motherland ... "

I dreamed of Jose Rizal as ...

A UNIQUE GENIUS FILIPINA BEAUTY

WITH A SMART EDGE IN FASHION ...

Ohhh yeah... baby ... ferashyash !!!

We lab yah !!! Mwah!

THIS IS OZ .... A FABULOUS WAY OF COMING OUT !!!

Matthew Mitcham, Sydney Olympic gold medalist

Hey, look at this very cool campaign in the internet .... I simply love it!

THIS IS OZ is an online photo gallery where people can help fight discrimination against Australia's gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (GLBT) community .... THIS IS OZ.

The beauty of this effort is that anyone and everyone can post their photos with their message that challenges HOMOPHOBIA and celebrates DIVERSITY. Deadline is August 15! And I also thought that it is another way of coming out to the world and sending your personal story as well... :)

So hurry now... take your photos and upload asap! I am still conceptualising my fab entry, ha,ha,ha .... My favorites so far are ....

Wes Bas, Sydney ACON Board Member + Gay and Lesbian Liaison Officer, NSW Police Force

Daniel Rarela, USA

The Hon. Tanya Plibersek MP, Sydney Minister for Housing, Minister for the Status of WomenMember of Australian Labor Party

Rhys Bobridge, Sydney Singer + dancer

Simply Beautiful !!! GO NOW !!!

VITAMINS AND MINERAL MAKE UP GIRL !!!

Ha,ha,ha.... I found a new field to play and explore! After finishing my short course in Make Up - I applied for over the counter part time jobs and by pure luck I got scheduled. But I wanted to create a new personality - so I tried to came out as a girl or as a TG. I did have the balls and had so much balls to appear like this in general public for one day - pure daylight, and sold over $500 makeup with minimal training. It was hard and daunting at first - but it is worth it!

Some people had second glances and wondering if I was really a gurl! Mind you, I saw one of my office mates from a distance and I quickly changed my view, just in case - luckily, she did not recognize me at all. Ha,ha,ha! But looking at that photo again above, which was taken before we started working .... I was sooo hysterical ... since it now reminds of DAWN FRENCH - my favorite Brit Comedian ... Chubby me.... siguro ilang kainan na lang and then I would exactly look like her na! Waaaaaaa .... We even have the same evil smile/smirk! But I luv her! She's sooo funny!

Anyway, holding my hands, it is just pure guts and lots of theatrics will do in this field!

Now, if I could only really mimic a girl's voice! How do you do that???

Hopefully - this weekend, I am redoing it again!

For beauty's sake pray for me, please!

XOXO

FRUIT INSPIRED MAKEUP

Ohhh yes, just for the fun and my growing obssession with MAKE UP, I am working towards becoming a MAKE UP artist .... Yes! Adjunct to my drag artistry... And getting my certificate for a short course, is just the start of it.... I even scored a part time weekend job in one of the mineral make up counters in the CBD. I really luv, luv every minute of it .... and I even went further by dressing as a girl! Except for my voice, I could really pass up as a woman of 25 - and that's what my clients guessed my age is! Not bad for a woman of substance! XOXO

WINTER, SWINE FLU AND COMING OUT TO THE WHOLE WORLD ...

(Adam Lambert as a Hot Drag Queen!)

FIRST, winter has finally set in quick in Melbourne and for the past week, my body, mind and spirit were ushered into this strange cold and miserable weather condition. And so my meager activities were beginning to dwindle further into the confines of the four corners of our adequately heated abode with my hubby and two puppy children ...

Happily, I finished my weekend short course in Fashion and Wedding make up in Swinburne Uni ... hmmm, it was fun with the girls, i tell yah .... and yesterday the news that Swine Flu virus in Victoria reached a thousand infections and suggest a worldwide pandemic ... flashed/erupted like the cold fog that continuously engulfs the city .... people began to panic! I was not humored when I saw this young and chubby porcine like Chinese girl in the mall wearing a white mask. I started seeing a B-grade horror cum cartoon movie! Oink! Oink! . Last week, I felt like not feeling very well and I was caught by our manager sneezing and wiping my colds due to allergy ... I was immediately sent home to see my doctor which diagnosed me with just the common colds and flu going around the CBD! But the doctor, as with all the others, was alarmed enough, I did not even have to book to see him. I could have been the 1000 and one H1 victim of the growing list. (Knocks on wood!) And seriously, the office staff were issued with hand sanitiser and anti-bacterial alcohol based lotion in addition to the emails of safety and precautions re Swine Flu .... as if nothing could be worse than it, including the technical recession of Australia! . But I really don't see any cause to panic. Just like the recession, I think we are adequately equipped to face these waves, and ride through with it unscathed. . Announcing to the whole world that you are gay - when at first you established a straight celebrity personality - could be news years ago! But when, you are transparently gay - I do not think there is a need to officially proclaim. Everyone would just assume or would ask - if it is their business to know, but if not, it does not really matter at all. Being gay is just a part of your personality - just like having black hair or pair of blue eyes! Yes, honey, you are born with it! . I have not really verbally announced to all my family and friends that I am a flaming G-A-Y! I just do not think at this time - there is a pressing need to! . XOXO