I MISS MY ORCHIDS

this year ... they did not produce flowers at all, not a single one. I am to blame, since I repotted them and cut them into four to propagate. Hope that next year, I would have at least one spike. I just love orchids !!!! Wa Charotzzzz !

AND THESE ARE MY CRAVINGS ...

I crave for some hot crunchy tasty spring rolls (lumpia) to be dipped in sweet and sour sauce with lots of chilli!!! This is a photo of the food that my best friend D made and just the look of this made me salivate !!! I guess he makes the best crunchy pinoy type spring rolls ever! With his recipe, I hope I could replicate his feat this weekend. Sure will prepare one for a feast !!!

THE FIGHT FOR LOVE AND LIFE

I am not an expert when it comes to LOVE. For in my life, I have only truly loved three men (and a baby), and if my idea of LOVE is right afterall, and if all my friends around are giving me the correct advise and impressions, the bear with me so ! My first love was, of course, sweet and unrequited. I could still remember, like a song. His name is forever etched in my memory. And it starts with letter J. The second was dangerous, full of passion, kaput. And with him, I was lost my virginity :) And the third (this one) hopefully conquers all. All the others, I could dump under the categories of LUST, CRUSHES, FUN, FLIRTS, AFFAIRS, PHASES, REBOUNDS, TAKE AWAYS, HAPPY MEALS, ITCHINESS, etc. But still, I do not know what true LOVE is. Is it really a battlefield, where one emerges a victor or a loser. Is it an eternal grail that you seek and could never find? Participants of the annual Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgender Pride Parade march down 5th Avenue, Sunday, June 25, 2006, in New York. This year the parade motto is The Fight for Love and Life. (AP Photo) If love indeed is an eternal quest, the following poem I chose as my guide me, and hopefully it does. Kahlil Gibran on Love When love beckons to you, follow him, Though his ways are hard and steep. And when his wings enfold you yield to him, Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you. And when he speaks to you believe in him, Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden. For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning. Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun, So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth. Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself. He threshes you to make you naked. He sifts you to free you from your husks. He grinds you to whiteness. He kneads you until you are pliant; And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast. All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart. But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure, Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor, Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears. Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself. Love possesses not nor would it be possessed; For love is sufficient unto love. When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God." And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course. Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself. But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires: To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To know the pain of too much tenderness. To be wounded by your own understanding of love; And to bleed willingly and joyfully. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving; To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy; To return home at eventide with gratitude; And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

LESSONS FROM HYSTERIA LANE

We have this unwanted climber visitor in our garden which I have been trying to kill for over three years now. It is devouring by asphyxiation all the other plants we have. And it is attracting a lot of white aphids. Someone told me its beautiful name before but I cannot remember now ... Actually it is something like ivy... yes, maybe Poison Ivy... reminded me of the lovely Uma Thurman in Batman the movie. And the evil characteristics! Well, anyway, this weed or climber is actually growing from our neighbor and it climbed up over the trees and fence and now it is lording or maybe the right word is reigning over all the other plants and flowers and even managed to climb and really flourish on top of our garage's rooftop. Ohhh yes, this plant is so unruly and has a mind of its own. I constantly weed it out, pull it out of its entanglings, cut it out over and over again only to be greeted the following days or weeks of its new healthy growth. Annoying me. Haunting me. You could not kill this plant unless you weed out the main root which is in our neighbor, my friends said. So all I could really do is to continue what I have been doing, or I could report this problem to the council to end my suffering. All I want is a low maintenance garden, and this climber is making it sooo difficult! Our neighbor apparently loves this climber for they are not being bothered at all. It covered their whole area and provides them the only greenery they have and hides all the dirt in their garden. And we really do not talk to our neighbor, not after previous disputes. Well, I thought what would Bree of the Desperate Housewives do in this case? Of course, she would not give up the fight this easily. She would definitely find a way to succeed. But then there are fights that you cannot win and the only thing you have to do is to turn the problem into a "bearable situation" you can live with. Like with all the other things I could not change, I might just actully surrender, give up this little fight, and welcome this plant as my official garden guest! In winter time, it is covered with lively blue purplish flowers, which somehow enlivens the dead garden... and maybe my only true consolation!

WHAT IT IS LIKE FOR A BOY....

do you know..... ??? I was humming this song in my head thinking of a good title for this post. Weekend was plain and simple - as always, but then came Sunday morning. I was awakened by my mobile's alert for a new text message. At 10 in the morning, I was still very sleepy but when I was half reading the message from my younger brother - our youngest, living in Sydney - that his wife delivered a baby boy on Saturday, I was just like Whaaaattttt!!! It was a surprise - for I did not know that my sister in law was even pregnant. Well, all of us in the family did not have a clue. And so the coming of the baby boy was just a big big big pleasant and wonderful surprise! That ended my quiet and peaceful weekend. I immediately called my sister and told her about it and she said - Whaaaattttt? What kind of drugs are you on? ? I told her to read the text in her mobile - and she said "oHHHHH My Gawwwd!" And so that was like the rest of the family! I rang my brother and he was very ecstatic and though I could not hide my joy and surprise, I asked him why on earth did they not told us in the first place - and that is like nine months of not telling us - is like not being considered part of the family at all. I for one would not or could not hide this (if i would get preggie, of course! not!), unless there is a real and big reason not to (another story!). Just for the sake of a surprise is just a big surprise - for all it is, is not coming out as a surprise !!! Well, not in this category. What happened with the word FAMILY ??? So I was with mixed emotions. But that warm happy welcoming feeling of having another member of the family - a baby boy - won over and I had this chance of celebrating this on my own by listening to a CD I bought last friday - what a coincidence since it was all about boys... like my subconscious was preparing me for this finale...like I kept on seeing little cute baby boys on Saturday as well, not knowing that somewhere out there, a boy in the family has just arrived. It is "Les Choristes". I have the DVD and saw it once. Now just to refresh my memory- I saw it again last night, after listening to the CD. Well aside from the fact, that I love anything Frenchy, I was really touched to the core by the angelic voices of these boys plus I needed a big purging of emotions or "catarhsis". I almost cried at first - well, shamelessly I actually cried a buckett afterwards .... for joy and all that there is to Life. For those just felt and not seen. Cheers!!!